Chase your Happy.

Whew.

It has really been quite some time since I have posted anything, probably due to the amount of hammering stress from planning a wedding during the apocalypse that is the year 2020. It could also be due to the fact that every time I turn on the television I am lucky enough to catch a commercial of some yammering political yahoo magoo telling me what I should do with my life and how they will run the country from their deathbed.

However, minus all the worldly bullshit that is happening around us, I found that most people that I have talked to lately are experiencing serious levels of unhappiness. Every single person I have spoken with has explained that they are stuck in a “rut” or they have this lingering, looming depression that they just can’t seem to shake. Was this a result of the media, because we all know that is a plague in itself? Was this a result of the pandemic? Or was this just how life is going to be from now on living in this world?

I’m not going to tell you to go dig in your heart for the moments that made your heart bleed with emotion. To go out and run around the block because it releases endorphins, or to overdose on some vitamin D.

Come on, this goes way deeper.

I am not going to sit here like I have all the answers and that I don’t clutch my phone late at night hoping my horoscope is going to tell me something good is FINALLY going to happen. No…

Although, I am going to tell you that this was the hardest year to be happy, it was the hardest year to be myself and most importantly it was the hardest year to find myself. It was the hardest year to find my “happy”.

Find your happy and CHASE IT.

I think that finding your happy is one of the most important things you can do in your lifetime, how long or short that is, we never really know. The one thing that I strived to get out of this year was a perfect wedding day and really, I got more than I thought. It was the one day where happiness was simply addictive, smiling was natural, and the world melted away. The moment I walked up there and stood right across from him, everything and everyone else washed away and I knew in that moment that this was truly it. This is what it felt like to be elated.

Have I found the key to happiness?

No, however I realized that its wrapped up in the moments that we all live for, whether those are your kiddo’s, your friends that share those cups of wine with you when your celebrating your best moments and the shots of whiskey when you’re not. Whether it’s your husband that gives you something to believe in when you can’t even believe in yourself and want to give up. It’s your favorite song blasted when you are Mrs. Doubt-firing around the house with the broom and the sweeper having a good time and your heart could just explode in notes of simple moments such as this. Whether it’s creating, reading, dancing, loving, nurturing, anything that paves your path into happiness is all that you have to hold onto in times such as this and ultimately, Chase it.

I’ve realized that It’s the people that give you moments that melt into miracles.