First off let me start by saying something, “Relationships are really f*cking hard”.
Now that that’s out of the way, lets dive into it. Being yourself around someone is downright scary at first, no doubt, although it sounds insanely simple. And no, ladies I don’t mean going eyebrow-less in front of him for the first time, and yes juggling an eyebrow pencil and Listerine in the morning after streamlining Fireball all night should be a sport.
I mean showing someone what troubled, funny, messy, loving and hard to love person we really are.
If you think back to when you started your relationship, you think of all of the butterflies, the excitement and how you never thought the darkest days ahead could creep in and do some serious damage, nothing could stop you two. You two are like Jack and Rose on the Titanic screaming at one another how you can fly while holding two white claws. Each.
We think of all of the reasons that we meet the person that we are with and what had to happen to bring you two together, the serendipity in motion. The toughest thing about relationships is when they lead to long term, you’re basically finding out if you need them or not. “I can’t live with out you”, at first, turns in to “I can’t live with you”, after a few years.
You will long for the ghost of the person that you once met, the same one that gave you tingly feelings inside, as you watch him slurp down a bowl of cereal at 11:00 p.m. staring and blaring some dude Youtube video like a three year old laughing and choking on his fruit loops, but that guy, he’s still in there, somewhere. And as for you guys, she may stay physically the same, she may gain weight, she may lose it, but I can assure you as she grows older her mind is a blazing wildfire that’s shifting winds. Truth is, we get frustrated with one another, we lack basic communicative abilities with the people who are the closest to us and we shut down. We pent up with so much anger we are quick to yell, scream and feed the other person to a tiger… (err wait)..
Honestly, and ladies you know what I’m talking about the point where it comes out as a blurted mess because your mind is a long script of emotion and your mouth is the firing squad and then that’s it communication lines shutdown, STONEWALLED ZONE. You’re in a relationship but you’ve never felt more alone, and well the chances the other person feels the same are probably pretty good as well. Finding the means to form communication techniques can serve you and ultimately save you.
Once you come to the realization you aren’t the same people anymore as you look in the mirror wondering where the time has gone, realizing you are on two different pathways of life and taking that initial step back. As everyone has that pit in their throat right now, I assure you this will happen in your relationship, and if it doesn’t, hats off. The toughest part of meeting someone regardless of age is embracing someone for everything that they are and all that they are yet to be.
We are all going to change, we just have to decide if we can change together. If you aren’t able to change together, then learn from one another as you make your transition onto a new pathway. Because once you shut that door, you should be prepared to lock it and walk it. Change is never easy but communicating with someone that we love should be. Take that step back, it could just save you two.