Here is a little bit about me and why I am starting this…
I don’t believe that my life is interesting in anyway whatsoever and you might not either, I’ve now eagerly stared at this Microsoft Word I beam blinking for five or so minutes contemplating what people want to hear or what I want to divulge to the world. Taking this journey wasn’t necessarily the easiest step in my life but I’ve learned to embrace the unknown, but I have always had a knack for expression through my writings, that brought me here.
We all hate being extremely uncomfortable, strange avenues, our 30’s creeping up on us faster and then knocking on our front doors with responsibilities, the 90’s was still 15 years ago and I will stick to that until I die (I said what I said). The older I get the faster time goes, the faster life slips through my hands. What do I really want out of the world for myself? And those little pieces that I want to give to other people?
So how do I do that and more importantly where the hell do I start?
Learning to Relate. That’s it! Writing is about what people want to hear, and how the people reading it will find a way to relate. Now, I know for sure I’m not the only soul sitting at a structured 9-5 all day screaming inside, there are many more people doing that than I realized and it takes a tremendous set to follow a dream, jump or do something new.
LEAP.. oh yeah and that word, it makes anyone shiver at the knees, but what if you jumped and succeeded ? What if you took your dream and made it your reality? IGNORE those thoughts, yes you know what I’m referring to that little twit in your head that does the what if’s… QUIT it. Yeah I do it too and as I’m writing this you better believe that S.O.B. is there scrutinizing every word that I’m typing saying “Wow will people ready this you crazy old bat?”… (I’ve been trying different fonts to make it look better than it actually is, see what I did there) That’s why this is fueled by a deep velvety glass of a strong aged Merlot.
So, what do I know about backtracking in my life? Recently, I have been quite the tangled mess. I got asked one of the hardest questions, “Hey Stace what do you want to be?”. Now damn it, nothing frightened me more than that question, I’ve spent money on my education, and I still don’t have any idea?! Realistically, if you’ve stuck with reading this for this long, then you are my type of people and know the feeling and soul-sucking debt.
Then what’s the problem? The problem is I look at my cubicle like it’s the scratched-up walls of Alcatraz, and my retirement date are tally marks of when I’ll make it out. But ultimately at the end of the day I wasn’t myself, I wasn’t happy, I felt that I was being kept in a prison cell, so I am looking fervently for that vent to sweep me up though it and run like hell. If I hear this “Nobody likes what they do, it’s life” from one more person. I cannot believe that is socially and even more importantly morally acceptable to say about your own life. I heard that and I said, “Oh hell no, not me”. That’s not life, who ever came up with that saying or uses it, contact me we must sit down.
I was put in this position to CHANGE. Recently, one of my very best friends said to me “Someday isn’t on a calendar”, yeah well duh. But wait! That’s everyone’s default answer, you know the same thing you say to someone whenever they ask you how are you are doing and you reply with “Fine”. its default. STOP living on auto-pilot. Then I got to thinking about it and the meaning, she’s right! We often put things off in hopes that things will change without searching for meaning in between for example we default; we hope that things will find us and the process will be comfortable.
Game-changer, nothing is ever comfortable that means something to you and why should it be if its promoting change, we get butterflies when we are happy, but when we don’t know the next move and it’s out of our control, we quiver, we panic, we drink enough wine to send us into a Merlot cosmic bliss. We play it safe far too often, thinking thoughts of “Oh my I can’t do that”, “I’m not smart enough” whatever ridiculous excuse you have come up with to reassure yourself that you are where you are comfortable, but you aren’t.